An Impatient Hot Blooded Den Mother
by Katakana-Fox
Summary: When a random visitor follows Sakura home, she couldn't help but notice more arrivals swooping in every waking minute or so. Yet of course the kunoichi could make a decent mother hen. Opt that as a crucial mental note if anything horrid takes place. Hopefully her house wouldn't be up for sale after numerous insurance bills flood the mail box outside the district.-Post war, crack
1. Usual crap gone sour

A/N: I find it practically impossible to enjoy a nice story that isn't up to my standards. It's not that I don't like the progress or the paining set up for it... Just seems like an odd occurrence that these are notoriously known as "gems/atomic bombs" which pop up in the SakuraxAkatsuki filter. Soo...here's mine! Feel free to bash/complain/support as much as you guys want.

**Extra note: **Turning the Akatsuki into animals never gets old. It's how the author go about creating their story that makes it turn out greater than a moldy bowl filled with porridge and pulp contaminated OJ! Also, I realllyyyy do not own the series. Hence why fan fiction is so nice, yet insulting at the same time. (Ex: Pro-supporters, bashing, yaoi, yuri, blah blah.)

An Impatient Hot Blooded Den Mother

**Chapter 1. Usual crap gone sour**

Sakura yawned.

And yawned some more.

Clinically a trait of boredom dominated her physique due to the slow pacing crunch session. For the last time she sucked in enough air, releasing the non-visual energy in a louder tone. Keeping her mouth wide open mid-way, the smooth sailing crashed landed as she choked on germ fueled morning breath. Making a face, the kunoichi rumbled and coughed in a hysterical fit. Seconds pass and she stops coughing. The windpipe stuffed behind her outfit returned to its normal circulation.

Growing tired of acting out in a stalling behavior, said pinkette builds up enough focus energy to resume working. Her irises fell on a paper only a few finches away. remained blank. Head tilting like a curious puppy, Sakura pulled a pen by her face. She leans forward, pressing her chest up against the oak desk in front.

Remaining frozen up in that exact spot, she couldn't help but feel watched.

Ohohoho, this angle did come off as a rather pervy sign.

Her boobs had been using the wooden design as a prop up for her feminine curves. Oh my Buddha, she's coming off as fap material for those obnoxious male workers in her wing.

Speaking of colleagues; Turning her head she gazes all around the room. Many medics and office workers filled their own work space, dotting down notes or chatting via-messenger hawk. (Which they weren't allowed to do!) But where is her position exactly?

All the way in the damn back.

She wasn't moving up the successful ladder any time soon. So much for saving Konoha with all her friends. The kunoichi still felt satisfied though. At the end of the battle, peace shined through the cracks. Each shinobi who helped fight in the war earned a shout out in the ceremony. But the rosette received something way better than that.

Granted an upgrade in status by Tsunade-shisou, she went from a Chunin-level nin to medic quo! But apparently working in this field didn't seem all dainty unicorns and magical rainbows. For the past period she's been working hard all by her self along with unfamiliar faces in the hospital wing. Due to her current schedule, the rookie nine didn't have time to spend time with their squad mates. Either way they went their separate days, fulfilling their clan duties as heirs.

Yet, is this where our young heroine spending the rest of her life? Sakura snorted. _'Fuck that. I should stop moping and get back to work..'_

Grabbing a spare feather from the corner, she furiously writes down chicken scratch.

Scribble, scribble.

"Hey babe."

SCRIBBLE..SCRIBBLE.

Not bothering to reply, she continues to write out sloppy Kanji.

"Whatcha doin?"

Rrr-ipppppp!

Her pen had sliced into the paper!

Inching back a bit, "Heyyyy...slow down there tiger."

Breathing in and out, "What do you want from me Koichi?"

"Ughhhh..." the man trailed, causing an eye roll to flourish in Sakura's sockets. "I heard that you saved the world?"

_'The fuck type conversation is that?'_

"The hell type pick up line is that?" she questioned, suddenly gasping in surprise.

Quickly she puts a hand to her lips.

Oops. Bad wording..but a bit similar, ne?

Gawking at her like she had two heads. _'What the crud was that?'_

Bobbing her shoulders up and down in a fit of laughter, "Sorry about that...I'm just so-"

"Sexy."

BAM!

As if in slow motion, her fist skimmed against the ride side of his jaw.

Stumbling back from the blow, "Damn it! You little bitch..." he growled, murmuring the ending word. Koichi looked up at her with sly grin on his face, "But so hot at the same time."

As a response to the cheap pick up line, she turned white as a ghost, "Y-you baka! Don't know how much I hate you..."

Wiggling a stray eye brow, "Oh, is this an invitation to sexual feelings?"

"NO!" Sakura roared.

"Darn it. " he replied, snapping two fingers. "Welp, I'll be back to toss you in my bed soon."

"Forget that. Marry your mother instead."

"No, you'll be marrying _me._" Koichi rephrased, "_My_ little cherry blossom."

* * *

Sakura sat down on a park bench. The lunch bell had rung a few minutes ago. She felt thankful that kami had given her a chance to flee from that mess back there.

But man oh man, this routine was getting old. Work, get ogled at, eat lunch.

More desk work. Numerous slaps, snickering at the lingering burning hand prints on each male's cheek.

Followed by lunch... again. Just rice and pocky.

Rinse and repeat!

"This sucks so much." The pinkette huffed, ripping off covered Saran wrap from her meal. "I'm not so predictable.." she grumbles picking up a glob of rice with her chops sticks, "Pfft..." then stuffs the grains into her mouth. "Or am... I?"

Bushes rumbled from off the side. Pausing in between chews, Sakura carefully places down her chop sticks in a random spot. After spending time decreasing further commotion so the mysterious thing wouldn't get spooked, she kept watching the event like it's a free movie. Suddenly a flare of chakra explodes from within the thicket! Molding her right hand into a fist, adrenaline picked up as tension thins. Who's lurking in the bushes? If the culprit is that idiot who hid behind the vending machine, then he's gonna get a knuckle sammich.

Time passes by slowly, and slowly, and slowlyyyyyy...

The bushes shook and shake! Calming down, it breaks apart as a nature dweller escapes from the thicket.

Looking on from her higher perch up on the bench, 'What is that thing? It's so..so...blue?' she thought, bit clammy from the sudden discovery.

Said creature stared.

And stared.

Blinking, "Well, aren't you gonna talk?" (1)

Instead of chatting, the amphibian bloated it's cheeks like a squirrel. "Ribbit!"

"...Okay, didn't except that at all."

If she harnessed the ability to smack her forehead, or possibly drag a hand across her delicate skin, Sakura definitely would.

How is there even frogs(2) in the area? Even more well noted, is that this one seemed too extinct. Spots ran along its body, including gills on each facial side.

'I won't even bother trying to figure out what type of teeth that thing has..'

For the entire break time, said kunoichi didn't budge from her spot. She kept her eyes, rather wide and shiny, focused sternly on the fascinating but weird-looking gift of nature.

As scheduled, the lunch bell goes off. Springing up off the bench, her bento box tipped over.

Tears ran down both cheeks, "Oh come on..I spent ages on that."

Snap!

In full alert, Sakura traced the sound.

...Ew.

Jaws quaking, the frog chows down on.

Blinking in curiosity, her body jumps when more snapping followed suit. Apparently more flies were joining in on the feast.

How is that possible though? The ingredients used were rice, shrimp..

"Fish!" the blossom exclaimed, "Aw, whatever. Damn frog..." she grumbled, "First it ruined my meal and now it's dining out on another as well."

Rather disappointed by how her day turned out so far, an ending idea seemed the only correct on retracing her steps back to the hospital so she could finish her working shift.

Before the kunoichi left, she glared at the amphibian. "Don't you dare try following me."

Off on her way she went.

But little did Sakura know, her little new friend Mr. Frog didn't stay still at all.

Leaping over each blade of grass, he trails behind like a new tail fastened on a monkey's rump.

* * *

Okay, here's the end of the chapter.

If anybody didn't get the reference for a numerical then here it is:

(1) Hint, hint. The usual "blah blah." speech gimmick that authors have their criminal turned kawaii animals roll with.

(2) Bwahahah! I bet you didn't expect that, huh? A frog! If you can guess who that is then bravo.

Sit tight for continuation of, "An Impatient Hot Blooded Den Mother!"

P.S Reviews are nice. Reaaaal nice.**  
**


	2. Toad jam gone bad

**Chapter 2. Toad jam gone bad?**

"Zzzzzz..."

Wretched snores drenched the air like a spoiled wave of gas. The obnoxious noise hails from a passed out figure. Head balanced securely on the desk, lips puckered with drool slipping down her stitched skin. During this sleepy time phase, nobody dared to wake this pinkette up from her nap. Scratch that, no one _bothered_ to.

But who would dare and wake this gorgeous sleeping beauty?

Depending on the person's bravery, there's many options involved in waking heavy sleepers up.

Poking their shoulder with a pencil, sticking boogers or ear wax into their nose, playing loud scratchy music, even running the faucet for ages right next to their delicate little ear drums! Sadly hardly any of those techniques worked on our tiring ex-team mate.

Perhaps maybe, the only solution is from lack of_ food._

"Ugh..." she groans steadily.

Oh my gosh, there is life on mars!

"Stupid *& #. Didn't even get a chance to finish my meal.." she carries on, mumbling into the wood._ 'How else am I suppose to grow into a proper woman?'_

"You didn't have any lunch yet?" asked a familiar voice, furthering with a sarcastic comment. "My, oh my. You''re probably famished!"

Barely moving from her spot, "I o-only a bit of rice...why do you ask?" Sakura uttered carelessly. _'Here it comes...'_

Literally rain clouds hung over. Now wasn't the time to bother her! Usually casual conversations between her co-workers went by smoothly.

But this wasn't anything simple. It's complicated.. Mainly they're both women! Two genders who cannot stand to see material goods on each other or eye ballin their future lover to the core. Sadly not at this rate, since both reasons didn't seem like the topic today. Anger slowly simmered in her stomach.

But the kunoichi wouldn't dare to show it. Rather that, a healthy normal tone masked whatever emotion held within.

"Oh, are you dieting?"

"No, Emiko(1)...I'm not risking my healthy balanced life style so I can fit into a size zero bikini."

"Aw, I was assuming that you were."

Mustering enough energy, said medic turns away looking. "And why would you think that?"

Biting down onto a pencil with her pearly whites, "I dunno...just seem kinda fat around the cheek bones."

That tears it.

She ain't gonna pull a fast one on Haruno Sakura.

Once her first crushes those dainties sky blue coated fingers, this skank ain't messing up any more patient's health records for a very long time. By pressing a small amount of chakra into her hands, said female pulled her self up from the desk. Emiko watches from a short distance like a deer caught in the headlights. When her opponent is ready to charge, the perpetrator turns into a sour whimp! This always happened in some type of cycle.

Sakura vs the entire hospital wing. Oh yeaaaah, and Tsunade-sama as well. After all, she was in charge of this place. Hence why the kunoichi signed the recommendation papers that introduced her into the medical-team. Not like she minded. Half of her ninja style so far developed positively by the proud hazel eyed Sannin.

Making her way over near the desk, "Open your little rosey lips again and I'll chuck that little dainty desk out the window." the blossom threatened, rather lightly actually.

If there were ever a moment to check underneath the desk, a ting of fear involving quaking in that medic outfit of hers would have been accessible.

But sadly, she does not _swing_ that way. (2)

Either way, she couldn't help but smirk in achievement. Until then...the little weasel caught her off guard.

"Are you going to rape me now?" she asked innocently.

Multiple gasps randomly fill the room! Turning white as a sheet of paper, Sakura moaned in agony.

..Were they listen in on this little verbal cat-fight? Scratch that, literally gazing at the crummy event. Her green pupils had rolled near the right side of each eye ball. Many workers sitting by their desks had apparently stopped working; Gazing in shock, fear, even laughter...?

_'This situation is rather sad yet laughable.' _she mused with a frown.

Turning away with a sign, the pinkette raised an eye brow at Emiko's tensed up. "What? Did you expect hardcore stuffing or less?"

Lifting a shaky finger up to Sakura's face, "T-there's...t-there's a fro..fro...fro."

"Huh? A disco frog with an afro is on my head?" (3)

"Noooooo!" shrieked the woman, tugging on her hair. "You have a blue frog on top of your head!"

Freezing in surprise, her head tilted up towards the ceiling.

* * *

Croak, croak, croak!

That same frog..winded up on top of her head?

Left eye socket twitching rapidly, "How did you get here?" the pinkette questioned casually.

Before long, a freaky jungle scream ran like a siren through the office. Said wail had ironically belonged to Emiko, whose arms seemed per-occupied by a broom that's been retrieved from the far right corner. Staff workers gazed with mixed emotions in their own perfect safe zone, away from the location as one of the women attempt with saving the day.

But Sakura knew better than to think like that. _'Are you kidding me? This is so wrong...'_

Rather then imitating a jungle trekker, the opposite female possibly might slash like the grim reaper on Christmas day.

Except the young kunoichi plans on repelling that with a simple solution of her own.

Quickly she scans her surroundings for the orange-haired bimbo. Stationed over by the far right, the broom picked up from before spun rapidly. If Kimiko was preparing her self to slam that item across the frogs back, it would be in-void. Or such as rather a reversed beat down!_  
_

"What are you doing with that?" Sakura asked quietly, trying not to yell.

Emiko squirmed in her spot, "I-I'm trying to save you Haruno-chan. Please quit yellin at me!"

Struck down by the statement, "Are you serious? I doubt you're doing anything besides rui-"

As if plotting from the very start, said frog leaps out of Sakura's hair. Sailing through the air with both arms stretched out like a plane.

"You won't get near us!" her broom swished from side to side, missing completely, "Become toad jelly!"

The time taken for said woman's poorly coordinated swings, had randomly been slowed down for such a short while. While Emiko sang like a knocked up ostrich, the flying amphibian sailed slowly downwards.

Once it's hind leg hit the floor, the rest the frog's weight crashed down at a faster pace, before hopping away near another side of the room.

Placing a hand by her chest "Thank goodness he didn't get hit..." Sakura signed heavenly.

"Grrr, I almost had it..." the purple haired woman hissed, "Why did you allow that thing to escape?"

"I'm sure Mr. Frog wasn't pleased with how you were referring him as strawberry jam smeared on wheat toast."

"Shut up! Now if you don't mind, I have work to do."

Turning on her heels, the snotty popular trollish Emiko Yukimori wandered back near her desk (bridge) so she could finish that fine stack of paper simmering on the oak like bacon. Before long, an intense moment in the _A_ section of the hospital played out in a complete disaster.

Oh. My. Ginger..snaps

Assuming the worst, Sakura plugged up her ears.

Quickly each finger blocked out the howling and screaming from the human bases called desks! For a short moment she stood by her self, watching those co-workers struggle to slam a trash can onto the tiny visitor. One of the idiots thought they were _smart_, blowing up the room in hopes of finding him.

"Oh my gawd, I can't see!"

"What in the world knocked you upside the head Masato?"

From afar, Sakura struggled to capture her breath. _'The fuck man? Now I cannot see!'_

Funny how this action decreases the sole purpose of scouting out the retrieval by at least fifty percent._  
_

"Fucking idiots." the pinkette grumbles, carrying on in a tempted tone. "Akamaru can find tree squirrels lurking in the dark way quicker then they can._"_

Unexpectedly, the voice from hell haunts the kunoichi out of her own irritable/peaceful little world.

That ribbit...and it's awful recognizable croak towards the end.

With a quick sign, she slowly adverts her gaze downwards to find...that damn fly-eater. Aw, crap. It has increased by a hundred!_  
_

"..Why did you come back to me out of all the others?"

Suddenly a figure topples out from beyond the smoke bomb explosion.

Biting her bottom lip in surprise, _'What am I suppose to do now? There's somebody here..' _Without thinking, she had swooped down to her knees, reaching out in hopes of grasping the frog. It hadn't moved in inch, except the expandable pouches that blew up after every croak. Finally Sakura latches her hands onto it's warty texture, then reels the fellow near her chest in hopes of preventing an out cry from the co-workers.

"Hey! What are you doing young lady?" Questioned a sterile voice.

Pupils dilating in response, "Oh gosh...it's Tsunade-Shisou." Sakura revealed in shock.

Foot steps begin heading her way.

Trembling in fear for being found out, she had to think fast!

If not, then the entire summation of her medic career dies momentarily, forcing the blossom's fragile body to rot deep within a cheap tin foil grave.

But what could she do? Throw the frog out the window? No way, that won't work. Her boss might end up see something odd fly past her big old boobed spaced heart.

Altogether the spaces that separated Sakura from her mentor closed in.

Taking one sharp breath, she waits patiently for an exploitation. "You've caught me...please be gentle."_  
_

"The fuck are you doing with this?" Tsunade roared, obviously not closer than expected.

Blinking the depths of her eye lashes furiously, "W-what was that?"

Hold up right there! While the old bat is hollering at whoever else is here, Sakura could use that as a cover up to hide the frog.

Soaked sweat began pouring off the sides of her neck. This secret plan wasn't a good one. Adverting her eyes downwards, silver ones stared up right at her.

Swallowing any saliva back down her throat, "Here I go...this won't end so nicely." she then proceeds with stuffing the amphibian down her nurse uniform.

"Woah..." gasped a nearby colleague. "Did anybody see that?"

Not even bothering to answer the question, she ran off sliding across the area as if eels flipped and flopped against her skin. Continuing towards the door, she jumped across fallen people and out the smoke educed hall ways. Hopefully nobody else hadn't noticed a thing.

Except...those weirdo eyes of her new friend might have seen a bunches.

* * *

Established references for the chapter:

(1) Emiko, Kimiko, Meiko, Petco, whatever! These names are constantly used in OC based stories.

(2) Yeaaaah..I went there. Last time I've read the manga genre side bar: None of them are _officially_ listed under the yaoi/yuri canon brigade.

(3) If anyone has heard of a title with frogs as some of their main/side characters in it, than you've hit the jackpot!

Please wait for chapter three under the name, "An Impatient Hoot Blooded Den Mother." See ya!


End file.
